Last week, I told you about my 'Leaf on a River' journey. After the 18 months in which I lost my marriage, business and health and ended up with $88,000 of corporate debt, I went where that leaf took me...like 'Whack A Pee Pee Pinata LLC.' Each unexpected turn taught me so much.
In the days after my meltdown, my life had become such a dusty grey of the trudge of simple survival. During those times, I didn't have enough money to even rent a car. My gracious ex-Mother-In-Law loaned me a Honda with a shredding roof. I would park it around the corner from appointments since here in LA, "you are what you drive." Which leads me the point of this week's post - reinventing yourself in trying times.
Reinvention Tip #1
Friends and family are such a great blessing.
If you have some tucked away in a closet somewhere - go dig them out. Treasure them. They may just help you to do more than survive in stormy weather.
A Flower Changed My Life
I know it sounds crazy. You may scoff at my simple remedy. That tiny step helped stop my descent.
My dear friend of many years, John Morton, had seen my grey outlook. (Any one of his wonderful posts can help you through a down day.) He reminded me that "God is the kinda guy you can trust." And that I might consider that even if I had lost a marriage, I could treat myself with kindness. His insight sparked the novel concept that I could take a small step to take better care of myself.
Buying a single flower seemed so extravagant. As I walked into that flower store I felt like I was walking into an exotic distant land. My first tenuous steps into that little flower store on Barrington Avenue felt like I was walking into the the Amazon.
I did something different (that's a hint). I slowed down (that's a hint) and did something just for me (that's a big hint). I bought myself a yellow freesia on the way to my crappy job working for a crabby doctor.
Looking at that tiny, happy flower sitting in a styrofoam cup on my desk made me smile right down to my L'eggs knee-highs all day. As I look back on it now, that action of buying a single flower was the moment my life began to turnaround. I'll never forget. That night I put on music and danced to candlelight instead of eating ice cream. Within a few months my body let go of 17 pounds of "unhappy-marriage-fat" without dieting. I started looking...good.
Reinvention Tip #2
Do something nice for yourself or some one else.
If you won't who will? Need I say more? Look at how a simple flower in a styrofoam cup made me feel.
Reinvention Tip #3
Only you have the power to turn around your day.
Do.
Something.
Anything kind or new.
Taking even the tiniest step to empower yourself is a powerful success strategy. Even if it looks silly to someone else.
In 'N Out
Seemingly miniscule changes gave me enough momentum to start making other positive changes. I enrolled in the University of Santa Monica Master's Degree program in Spiritual Psychology--even though I had no idea how I would pay for it. Participating in that program changed my life. I learned about making self honoring choices, forgiving my past and designing my future. I started looking at my challenges as opportunities to grow. That learning orientation towards life helped me to be more gentle with myself. That inner gentleness was a key ingredient in my flourishing. Seeing myself as a spiritual being having a human experience instead of a big fat loser gave me the courage to look at the areas of shame. As soon I was able to forgive embrace my humanity, my outer circumstances shifted. Being from Kansas it was as though my life went from black and white to the dazzling Technicolor of OZ.
Reinvention Tip #4
Inner shifts flip the switch on the outer world.
Don't let the small stuff make you sweat. The more you honor your inner goodness the more the outer world embraces your choice. An inner rosy attitude helps the outer world blossom.
We're Not In Kansas Any More
Soon, I was driving a Mercedes instead of a borrowed, banged-up Honda. Using the tools I was learning at USM, I paid off most of the debt and moved from someone else's pool house to a beautiful home with my own guest house. Wow! I was following the Yellow Brick Road! In less than two years, I was coaching business owners, Emmy- and Grammy-award-winning producers, and a member of the founding team of FedEx. Folks got great value. Then I had the crazy notion that I could write a book. (I'd never had a writing class.) That book won awards and got national attention...which is probably why I get to be in front of your eyeballs right now.
I am telling you this because I couldn't have dreamed this existence ten years ago. My hope is that my story helps you. That is the whole reason I took on the crazy business of writing a book- and blogging. To be honest I dread writing this blog. I sweat bullets with every post...wondering if it will be good enough. (Hmmm, perhaps I should follow my own tip #4?)
I am going to prison. For the next two weeks I will be taking a vacation from blogging. I'll be working with inmates and look forward to tell you what I learn from being in the largest women's prison in the nation when I return.
As I write this I am in the midst of a whole new reinvention myself. So, I hope that you will share what you are doing to reinvent yourself.
***
Are you ready to get out of the way and let your dreams have a say? Email Eli about how you reinvented yourself recently at info@elidavidson.com or go to http://www.elidavidson.com today.
Eli Davidson is a nationally recognized executive coach and motivational speaker. Her book, "Funky to Fabulous: Surefire Success Stories for the Savvy, Sassy and Swamped", (Oak Grove Publishing) has won three national book awards. Eli is a reinvention catalyst, who can transform your professional and personal life from Funky to Fabulous with her ten, trademarked Turnaround Techniques that create rapid and remarkable results.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
How I survived Part 2
I wept as I read the comments from last week's post. Your kindness and tenderness touched those places in me that wept in the alley so the neighbors wouldn't hear. Thank you. (If you are having a down day check out Ed and Deb Shapiro, Dr. Judith Rich, John Morton, Anne Naylor, Kari Henley and Dr. Cara Barker they will lift you as well.) Having a supportive community gave me courage to dive back into my March Meltdown. Looking at the calendar I realize that much of it was happening almost exactly ten years ago - today.
Many of you told me how much my story helped you, so here goes...
Leaf on A River
In the blur of days after I lost my company I needed to figure out some way to make money. (Sound familiar?) I had been an actress and an entrepreneur so I had few marketable skills (Computer and office skills - yeah right, I was always the boss!) I knew how to cook up designs for "sumptuous adornments" and do a killer Arianna Huffington accent (even Arianna agrees!) ...but that was about it.
One of the greatest pieces of advice was from my friend Michael Hayes. "Look at your life as if you were a leaf on a river. Go where it takes you. Accept your opportunity - even if you don't understand it." I didn't have other options - so a leaf on a river I became.
This was great advice.
Try it.
From Business Owner to...Shirt Girl
I said yes to the first person that offered me a job, it was my first taste of humble pie. I went from Business Owner to...Shirt Girl. My new occupation was making custom shirts for Business Big Wigs. I hated pretty much every nano second of it...but at least I was eating.
Since I had always been good at schmoozing, I visualized that I might be able to cook up some sort of business opportunity by putting custom shirt clients together. Within eight months I did just that. (That high flying venture of Business Big Wigs put together by Shirt Girl was more of a movie script than a blog post.)
And the point of the story is.....
Reinvention Lesson #1: Eat Humble Pie
Do what you need to do to stay afloat. It may seem crappy in the immediate moment. (Trust me. I am right with you!) You will get through it.
Reinvention Lesson #2: Accept Your Opportunity
If you keep your focus on what you want to create, you are more likely to find a way to get there. Over time that lousy job helped me find my way to both consulting, coaching and later to becoming an author.
Reinvention Lesson #3: Use What You Got To Get What You Want
You have certain areas that you excel in more than others. I have been "working the room" since I could walk. What are a few areas of your own natural talents? Now is the time to harness what you do with ease.
Whack-A-Pee-Pee Piñatas
It is hard for me to type at the moment, because I am laughing so hard.
Whack-A-Pee-Pee was the name of first company that hired me as a consultant. I kid you not. A well-known doctor who bought shirts from me thought he would make a fortune-selling penis shaped piñatas. He heard of my business background and hired me to consult him on his new venture.
As much as I needed the money, I advised him to fire me. After I reviewed his business plan my recommendation was simple. "Don't do this!"
He needed to save the $100,000 he was about to spend on making injection (no pun intended) molds to mass-produce the "Provocative Piñatas." Dr. James* needed to put porno piñatas out of his head and stay in the business of medicine.
He was impressed that I didn't take his money as much as I needed it. That decision paid off. Dr. James saw that I knew how to build a business and I was honest. Those seemed to be somewhat unique qualities in the industrial medical field. He referred me to his friend whose medical practice was in a slump. I used the strategies that built orders in my design company to help that physicians business flourish. More medical practices asked for my consulting. My income doubled, tripled and then quadrupled. Friends saw that I went from driving a banged up Honda to a Mercedes. They asked me to coach them in their businesses. They used the tools and their incomes doubled. Soon I was coaching and writing a book on nights and weekends. A decade later I still have my medical consulting business. Boy, am I grateful!
And the point of the story is.....
Reinvention Lesson #4: Honesty Is The Best Policy
In the short term it would have been very easy to make several thousand dollars consulting for the Whack-A-Pee-Pee Piñata Company. Dr. James had plenty of cash. He got such a kick out of being in the provocative piñata business that he was happy to write checks. Being honest paid off. I hope that Wall Street will learn this lesson
Reinvention Lesson #5: Treat Everyone as Your Friend
One of the best pieces of business advice came from my minister. "Treat everyone as your friend." Now, more than ever this is a powerful tool. I could have dismissed Dr. James as a porno piñata kook. Treating him as a friend lead to him helping me start a consulting and coaching practice. Everyone is mega stressed these days. By treating everyone with respect you may open the door to an incredible opportunity.
As I write this I am in the midst of a whole new reinvention myself. So, I hope that you will share what you are doing to reinvent yourself.
* The name has been changed to protect this fine physician.
***
Are you ready to get out of the way and let your dreams have a say? Email Eli about how you reinvented yourself recently at info@elidavidson.com or go to http://www.elidavidson.com today.
Eli Davidson is a nationally recognized executive coach and motivational speaker. Her book, "Funky to Fabulous: Surefire Success Stories for the Savvy, Sassy and Swamped", (Oak Grove Publishing) has won three national book awards. Eli is a reinvention catalyst, who can transform your professional and personal life from Funky to Fabulous with her ten, trademarked Turnaround Techniques that create rapid and remarkable results.
Many of you told me how much my story helped you, so here goes...
Leaf on A River
In the blur of days after I lost my company I needed to figure out some way to make money. (Sound familiar?) I had been an actress and an entrepreneur so I had few marketable skills (Computer and office skills - yeah right, I was always the boss!) I knew how to cook up designs for "sumptuous adornments" and do a killer Arianna Huffington accent (even Arianna agrees!) ...but that was about it.
One of the greatest pieces of advice was from my friend Michael Hayes. "Look at your life as if you were a leaf on a river. Go where it takes you. Accept your opportunity - even if you don't understand it." I didn't have other options - so a leaf on a river I became.
This was great advice.
Try it.
From Business Owner to...Shirt Girl
I said yes to the first person that offered me a job, it was my first taste of humble pie. I went from Business Owner to...Shirt Girl. My new occupation was making custom shirts for Business Big Wigs. I hated pretty much every nano second of it...but at least I was eating.
Since I had always been good at schmoozing, I visualized that I might be able to cook up some sort of business opportunity by putting custom shirt clients together. Within eight months I did just that. (That high flying venture of Business Big Wigs put together by Shirt Girl was more of a movie script than a blog post.)
And the point of the story is.....
Reinvention Lesson #1: Eat Humble Pie
Do what you need to do to stay afloat. It may seem crappy in the immediate moment. (Trust me. I am right with you!) You will get through it.
Reinvention Lesson #2: Accept Your Opportunity
If you keep your focus on what you want to create, you are more likely to find a way to get there. Over time that lousy job helped me find my way to both consulting, coaching and later to becoming an author.
Reinvention Lesson #3: Use What You Got To Get What You Want
You have certain areas that you excel in more than others. I have been "working the room" since I could walk. What are a few areas of your own natural talents? Now is the time to harness what you do with ease.
Whack-A-Pee-Pee Piñatas
It is hard for me to type at the moment, because I am laughing so hard.
Whack-A-Pee-Pee was the name of first company that hired me as a consultant. I kid you not. A well-known doctor who bought shirts from me thought he would make a fortune-selling penis shaped piñatas. He heard of my business background and hired me to consult him on his new venture.
As much as I needed the money, I advised him to fire me. After I reviewed his business plan my recommendation was simple. "Don't do this!"
He needed to save the $100,000 he was about to spend on making injection (no pun intended) molds to mass-produce the "Provocative Piñatas." Dr. James* needed to put porno piñatas out of his head and stay in the business of medicine.
He was impressed that I didn't take his money as much as I needed it. That decision paid off. Dr. James saw that I knew how to build a business and I was honest. Those seemed to be somewhat unique qualities in the industrial medical field. He referred me to his friend whose medical practice was in a slump. I used the strategies that built orders in my design company to help that physicians business flourish. More medical practices asked for my consulting. My income doubled, tripled and then quadrupled. Friends saw that I went from driving a banged up Honda to a Mercedes. They asked me to coach them in their businesses. They used the tools and their incomes doubled. Soon I was coaching and writing a book on nights and weekends. A decade later I still have my medical consulting business. Boy, am I grateful!
And the point of the story is.....
Reinvention Lesson #4: Honesty Is The Best Policy
In the short term it would have been very easy to make several thousand dollars consulting for the Whack-A-Pee-Pee Piñata Company. Dr. James had plenty of cash. He got such a kick out of being in the provocative piñata business that he was happy to write checks. Being honest paid off. I hope that Wall Street will learn this lesson
Reinvention Lesson #5: Treat Everyone as Your Friend
One of the best pieces of business advice came from my minister. "Treat everyone as your friend." Now, more than ever this is a powerful tool. I could have dismissed Dr. James as a porno piñata kook. Treating him as a friend lead to him helping me start a consulting and coaching practice. Everyone is mega stressed these days. By treating everyone with respect you may open the door to an incredible opportunity.
As I write this I am in the midst of a whole new reinvention myself. So, I hope that you will share what you are doing to reinvent yourself.
* The name has been changed to protect this fine physician.
***
Are you ready to get out of the way and let your dreams have a say? Email Eli about how you reinvented yourself recently at info@elidavidson.com or go to http://www.elidavidson.com today.
Eli Davidson is a nationally recognized executive coach and motivational speaker. Her book, "Funky to Fabulous: Surefire Success Stories for the Savvy, Sassy and Swamped", (Oak Grove Publishing) has won three national book awards. Eli is a reinvention catalyst, who can transform your professional and personal life from Funky to Fabulous with her ten, trademarked Turnaround Techniques that create rapid and remarkable results.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
How I Survived!
In 18 months; I lost my marriage, business and health and ended up with $88,000 of corporate debt.
I needed hands on tools to lift myself out of my 'funk'. I was desperate.
Here are some simple things that helped me through my darkest days.
Reach Out
Pick up the phone. Call your friends. Even better go see your friends. Get and give a lot of hugs.
Water
Water is a key element. This is a huge de-stresser. Sure wine and Dr. Vodka numb the pain, but water will help your body over the long haul.
Protein
Eating protein is always a vital component in lowering my own stress levels. Studies show that people's eating habits deteriorate under a great deal of pressure. I know my eating habits did. "Stress disrupts people's normal eating habits. When they feel anxious or emotionally aroused or negative about themselves, they try to avoid these negative feelings by turning their attention to food," said Dr. Daryl O'Connor, a researcher at Britain's Leeds University. I have personally found that eating red meat is very helpful for lowering my stress. It is a food that fills me up and diminishes my sugar cravings. (Sorry my Vegan friends.) Please do what works for you.
Pleasers
Even If you are on a budget, you can make the items you consume deeply self-pleasing. Having a sister that lives in Italy has taught me a lot about the power of simple pleasures. If you are no longer going to Starbucks, you can make a cup of coffee that is Drive-Across-Town-Good. Serve it to yourself in one of your most beautiful cups. It tastes so much more satisfying. It sounds so good, I am going to do that now.
***
Are you ready to get out of the way and let your dreams have a say? Email Eli at info@elidavidson.com or go to www.elidavidson.com today.
Eli Davidson is a nationally recognized executive coach and motivational speaker. Her book, "Funky to Fabulous: Surefire Success Stories for The Savvy, Sassy and Swamped", (Oak Grove Publishing) has won three national book awards.
Eli is a reinvention catalyst, who can transform your professional and personal life from Funky to Fabulous
Bullet Proof Your Income -- Free 45 minute call with Eli!
Tuesday, March 17th
7 pm pacific, 8 mtn, 9 central, 10 pm eastern
45 minute call--- register at coaching@Elidavidson.com
I needed hands on tools to lift myself out of my 'funk'. I was desperate.
Here are some simple things that helped me through my darkest days.
Reach Out
Pick up the phone. Call your friends. Even better go see your friends. Get and give a lot of hugs.
Water
Water is a key element. This is a huge de-stresser. Sure wine and Dr. Vodka numb the pain, but water will help your body over the long haul.
Protein
Eating protein is always a vital component in lowering my own stress levels. Studies show that people's eating habits deteriorate under a great deal of pressure. I know my eating habits did. "Stress disrupts people's normal eating habits. When they feel anxious or emotionally aroused or negative about themselves, they try to avoid these negative feelings by turning their attention to food," said Dr. Daryl O'Connor, a researcher at Britain's Leeds University. I have personally found that eating red meat is very helpful for lowering my stress. It is a food that fills me up and diminishes my sugar cravings. (Sorry my Vegan friends.) Please do what works for you.
Pleasers
Even If you are on a budget, you can make the items you consume deeply self-pleasing. Having a sister that lives in Italy has taught me a lot about the power of simple pleasures. If you are no longer going to Starbucks, you can make a cup of coffee that is Drive-Across-Town-Good. Serve it to yourself in one of your most beautiful cups. It tastes so much more satisfying. It sounds so good, I am going to do that now.
***
Are you ready to get out of the way and let your dreams have a say? Email Eli at info@elidavidson.com or go to www.elidavidson.com today.
Eli Davidson is a nationally recognized executive coach and motivational speaker. Her book, "Funky to Fabulous: Surefire Success Stories for The Savvy, Sassy and Swamped", (Oak Grove Publishing) has won three national book awards.
Eli is a reinvention catalyst, who can transform your professional and personal life from Funky to Fabulous
Bullet Proof Your Income -- Free 45 minute call with Eli!
Tuesday, March 17th
7 pm pacific, 8 mtn, 9 central, 10 pm eastern
45 minute call--- register at coaching@Elidavidson.com
Friday, March 06, 2009
How I Lost My Marriage, Business and Health...and Survived!
Losing everything?
Been there. Done that.
In 18 months; I lost my marriage, business and health and ended up with $88,000 of corporate debt. That was in 1998.
I've been through a meltdown, and what I learned can help you or your friends get out of theirs. As bleak as it may seem, you will get through this.
I promise.
As crazy as it seems the 'doo doo' of my past has become the fertilizer in my current life. My life is living proof that "Yes! You Can." You can get through this.
NBC had me on "The Today Show," talking about how to get through these tough times...If you had told me that a decade ago - I would have asked you, "What planet are you living on?" But we'll get to more on that next week.
My Meltdown
My decent began with a bout of Meniere's syndrome. (I would see you - but there would be three of you, and the room was always spinning). It's a disease that causes some to be bed ridden for the rest of their lives.
I started a design company with $17 and a glue gun (which I brought on The Today Show) and grew it to $1.5 million in retail sales within four years. I had no business training, and like many entrepreneurs my business plan was simple: work hard. My crazed pace of 16 hour days caught up with me. Since I failed to listen to my body's needs, it had no other choice than to shut down. My doctor took away my car keys and put me to bed - for several months. During my 'time out' employees embezzled my designs and my business began to unravel.
Losing my business was like losing a baby. My plan was to build a successful business and then have children. No such luck. Losing my marriage was the final and toughest blow.
During the bleak parade of March days, I hit my bottom.
The woman weeping in her car in the alley so the neighbors didn't hear her - that was me. I looked at my life and decided that I had failed...at everything.
I knew that I was supposed to "love myself." But how? I needed hands on tools to lift myself out of my 'funk'. I was desperate.
Stay tuned for next weeks article to learn the simple things that helped me through my darkest days!
*********
Bullet Proof Your Income -- Free 45 minute call with Eli!
Tuesday, March 17th
7 pm pacific, 8 mtn, 9 central, 10 pm eastern
45 minute call--- register at coaching@Elidavidson.com
***
Are you ready to get out of the way and let your dreams have a say? Email Eli at info@elidavidson.com or go to www.elidavidson.com today.
Eli Davidson is a nationally recognized executive coach and motivational speaker. Her book, "Funky to Fabulous: Surefire Success Stories for The Savvy, Sassy and Swamped", (Oak Grove Publishing) has won three national book awards.
Eli is a reinvention catalyst, who can transform your professional and personal life from Funky to Fabulous.
Been there. Done that.
In 18 months; I lost my marriage, business and health and ended up with $88,000 of corporate debt. That was in 1998.
I've been through a meltdown, and what I learned can help you or your friends get out of theirs. As bleak as it may seem, you will get through this.
I promise.
As crazy as it seems the 'doo doo' of my past has become the fertilizer in my current life. My life is living proof that "Yes! You Can." You can get through this.
NBC had me on "The Today Show," talking about how to get through these tough times...If you had told me that a decade ago - I would have asked you, "What planet are you living on?" But we'll get to more on that next week.
My Meltdown
My decent began with a bout of Meniere's syndrome. (I would see you - but there would be three of you, and the room was always spinning). It's a disease that causes some to be bed ridden for the rest of their lives.
I started a design company with $17 and a glue gun (which I brought on The Today Show) and grew it to $1.5 million in retail sales within four years. I had no business training, and like many entrepreneurs my business plan was simple: work hard. My crazed pace of 16 hour days caught up with me. Since I failed to listen to my body's needs, it had no other choice than to shut down. My doctor took away my car keys and put me to bed - for several months. During my 'time out' employees embezzled my designs and my business began to unravel.
Losing my business was like losing a baby. My plan was to build a successful business and then have children. No such luck. Losing my marriage was the final and toughest blow.
During the bleak parade of March days, I hit my bottom.
The woman weeping in her car in the alley so the neighbors didn't hear her - that was me. I looked at my life and decided that I had failed...at everything.
I knew that I was supposed to "love myself." But how? I needed hands on tools to lift myself out of my 'funk'. I was desperate.
Stay tuned for next weeks article to learn the simple things that helped me through my darkest days!
*********
Bullet Proof Your Income -- Free 45 minute call with Eli!
Tuesday, March 17th
7 pm pacific, 8 mtn, 9 central, 10 pm eastern
45 minute call--- register at coaching@Elidavidson.com
***
Are you ready to get out of the way and let your dreams have a say? Email Eli at info@elidavidson.com or go to www.elidavidson.com today.
Eli Davidson is a nationally recognized executive coach and motivational speaker. Her book, "Funky to Fabulous: Surefire Success Stories for The Savvy, Sassy and Swamped", (Oak Grove Publishing) has won three national book awards.
Eli is a reinvention catalyst, who can transform your professional and personal life from Funky to Fabulous.
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