Plastic Surgery or Accept Yourself?

There are stories about Jackson feeling so ugly as a child that he wanted to wear a mask on stage, and numerous accounts of his father taunting him and calling him "Fat Nose." In her wonderful post, Judith Rich exposed Michael Jackson's pain: "Michael Jackson: It Hurts To Be Me." Like the rest of us, he used a complex array of destructive behaviors to dull his inner aching. As a symbol of Americans' distaste for their appearances, he expressed his internal pain through war with his body. (Researcher J.J. Brumberg found that 53% of 13-year-old girls were dissatisfied with their appearance. That figure jumps to 73% for 17-year-olds. Instead of dealing with his internal demons, he focused on fixing his outsides.

Jackson had the funds to 'fix his face.' Here is Michael's face morphing. Reports say that he had so many nose jobs that his surgeons dared not risk another one. His surgeon stated that he began to fake surgeries, persuading Jackson that they had done further surgery when they had not. This need to fix his outsides was a call for the longing to heal his insides.

Like most Americans, Jackson was under the persistent pressure to perform. I see my own crazy schedule and realize that I often put my work before my own nurturing. What about you? Michael Jackson had stadiums of adoring fans screaming his name. It appears that external adoration couldn't heal the desperate pain he felt inside. As I look at myself, I see that I have judged a sudden eruption of fat around my stomach. Since it is bikini season, I am constantly aware of this unwelcome addition to my body.

Could I accept myself more? How about you?

Longing for acceptance..Can we stop self criticism?

As a symbol of American consumer spending, Michael Jackson died in debt. According to The Wall Street Journal, Michael died about $500 million in debt. (Americans carry $2.56 trillion in consumer debt, up 22 percent since 2000 alone, according to the Federal Reserve Board.)

I am still scratching my head about Jackson's finances. How could a person amass that much debt? Then I remember watching a BBC special about Jackson back in 2003. Jackson was filmed spending $6 million on a shopping excursion in Las Vegas. He gathered up antiques the way you or I toss carrots in a grocery cart. Like many Americans, Jackson used compulsive shopping as a way to dull the pain of open wounds from his childhood. As I reflect on my Inner Michael, I see my own longing for acceptance. I certainly have used buying a new pair of shoes or several pair if they were on sale to calm my jangled nerves.


How can I offer the kindness instead of criticism to those parts of myself I find ugly and unacceptable? What about you?

Help For Oprah: 'Tis the Season of the Binge

OPRAH!!! (I am saying that in your Oprah show voice...so hopefully you will hear me.) O Magazine just arrived on my doorstep. There you are. Skinny Oprah and Fat Oprah. I feel your pain. I have been there.

Your comments tell me that a diet you haven't tried is TLC -- The Low Criticism Diet. You are teaching living from the inside out, and I will wager you a very large some of money (in Eli dollars) that if you really give yourself the TLC Diet, that will be the last diet you will need. I will be sharing it with you over the next month. But first:

Stop beating yourself up. Stop the rigid diets. Start accepting yourself.

Self criticism is one of the most fattening things around. The more you demean yourself for having a 'food mistake' the more you fuel having a binge. One binge fuels the next and all of a sudden you can't fit in your Obama Inauguration dress.

Until you reinvent your way of being with yourself, your weight is always going to victimize you.

Oprah, when you say, "I'm embarrassed. I'm mad at myself." you show that you haven't addressed the judgmental mindset that is a key component of yo-yo dieting. I should know, I have waged the same battle myself. The Low Criticism Diet is the only diet that silenced the insanity of my 20 year battle with food.

Remember food isn't the issue. Self love is. Don't feel bad, Oprah. Women gain between 8 and 15 pounds between Halloween and Christmas, said Jone Novek, wellness expert in Scottsdale, Arizona New York City. As an executive coach for women I am seeing a trend of working women putting their health at the bottom of their "To Do List." Does this sound like you, Oprah? I watch more and more women grumbling at the thought of prying themselves away from the office and toward greater health. During the holidays it gets even worse.