I'm a first time reader of your post, so naturally I had to go back and read your post on Jamie. She sounds like an amazing young woman. I'm sorry the world has lost her.
As for your bacon test: I'm OK on most of them, but used to have trouble wanting to be in control. But, when my youngest daughter was 15, she had a brain tumor that knocked us all for a loop. For many months, she was practically totally dependent on me. Two years, three brain surgeries, a stroke, rehab, and a whole lot of seizures later, she was preparing to go to college. I tried to get her to stay at home and go to a community college for awhile--let Mom take care of her a little longer. But, I was butting heads with someone even more stubborn than I. She said, "This isn't the life I had planned, but if this is the life I get, I am going to do it as well as I can. So off she went. She even studied in Europe for a semester. And though she still had occasional seizures, and often had (has) pain, she took control of her life and I had to let go. It was very traumatic for me. I think it was almost as hard to let go as it was to watch her suffer for those two horrible years.
She became a social worker, a foster mother, a wife, and now she and her husband are adopting a gorgeous, baby girl. And I am managing to NOT channel my mother and try to tell her how to raise her--unless I am asked. Then, of course, I am quite happy to put in my two cents.
Thank You!I am so deeply, deeply moved by your story. The way you and your daughter have stood up embraced your life is such a story of hope and inspiration. Your heartfelt sharing is something that is so important for other reader.
"This isn't the life I had planned, but if this is the life I get, I am going to do it as well as I can."
Those are words of wisdom for us all.
Thank you! I hope that you will share your insights more often and visit me here and at the Huffington Post.
Best,
Eli Davidson
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