Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Challenges Of People Pleasers

I see the challenges that trying to please people bring in my life coaching practice. Any time you try to make the opinion of others (add your personal favorite here) or stuff outside you (add your personal favorite here) responsible for your feelings of happiness, you get stuck.

When you blame other folks for those crappy feelings (like say... fear, loneliness, anger, hurt, hopelessness--add your personal favorite here), you get stuck. Why? As great as that approval seems in the moment, it can never fill you up. Darn. I wish it could. I have sought it for so many years.

And if you try to squeeze your self worth out of other people that means you have to control them so they will give you what you want. The big problem is that you can't ever really control anybody. They now have the power to control you. So you never get the juicy authenticity of what you want. Darn, I wish you could. But you can't. So you end up feeling abused and disappointed instead of content. The only way to really fill up is to do it from the inside.

1 comment:

karim said...

Very thoughtfull post on personal coaching. It should be very much helpfull

Thanks,
Karim - Creating Power