Steer Through Stressful Situations

Many executives are both multitasking and not taking breaks which adds to their stress levels. Stopping to oxygenate their brains is a key component to become more effective.

Studies demonstrate that focused breathing lowers blood pressure and stress. The Three Minute Rule: If you can't take three minutes out of your day, you are in a toxic environment.
Set a timer and take one minute breathing breaks three times during the day. ( Busy executive coaching clients in the media use this technique especially when they are on deadline.)

Step One: Take a Time Out.
Even though it seems counter intuitive, stressed executives must take time out during their day.

Assisting executives to lower stress and boost motivation is the focus of my coaching practice, column on Huffington Post and my award winning book, "Funky to Fabulous, Surefire Success Strategies for The Savvy, Sassy and Swamped."

According to a recent survey of working-age adults from the American Psychological Association (APA), 81 percent of men and 68 percent of women between the ages of 45 and 54 report that work is a significant source of stress in their lives. The number of men in this age group who suffer stress due to financial concerns has risen to 86 percent since September 2008.

Step Two: Steer Through Stressful Situations
The best way to deal with any crisis on the job is to take control of your immediate reactions. Stressors are those items that you cannot control. Executive coaching clients find it helpful to imagine driving through stressful experiences the way one might drive a car. Using an analogy of steering a car can assist an executive detach from the troubling circumstances.

"Your windshield is bigger than your rear view mirror." Focus on where you are going, not on the difficulties in your past.

In order to lower stress, grab the wheel and guide oneself around 'knee jerk' reactions. Create a 'road map' of the steps to take to achieve your goal and maintain a steady focus on actions to get you there. 'Fill up the tank' and implement habits that enhance your physical and emotional health. In times of on going stress it is essential to make sure you are doing those things that add to your overall well being.

Take time to play!

The P Word
I saved the word with the worst reputation for last. No the P word doesn't have anything to do with the regions below your belt. The United Nations.... Study found that at the current rate of growth, depression would surpass the common cold as the most prevalent disease on the planet by ----. One reason I see that people are suffering from a lack of play. Give yourself some time each week with an activity that tickles your heart, and watch your stress levels plummet. The focus of my work is assisting people to get out of their own way and allowing their dreams to have their say. One of the most effective tools that I use with my clients is inviting them to p-l-a-y. Play has gotten such a bad rap that sometimes; I have to spend a good bit of time convincing. The glee factor will make it worth it.
Make an appointment to give yourself 15 minutes of play 3 days this week. Isn't it time you got to have recess?

You will probably need to treat it like a meeting or it won't happen.
Dance, sing, conduct, kick leaves (often something that you enjoyed as a child can be very potent).

Help isn't admission of defeat

The H Word
Those Americans that have jobs are working harder and longer hour than ever before. Studies have shown that now Americans have surpassed the Japanese for most hours worked. Maybe, this is a little something you have noticed in your own life. If you are looking for a job, you could probably benefit from some help.

Help isn't admission of defeat, but actually it is an invitation to contribute. Often, you will discover the person that you asked for help feels tremendously grateful about the experience. Scientists have discovered that there is a phenomenon called "Helper's High" the boost that people feel when they are helping others. Both the person asking for help and the person delivering that help are sharing a valuable gift with one another.

Inviting others input (which is a great way to ask for help at work) is incredibly productive. Two noggins are in fact smarter than one. Recently, I was giving a speech at a large insurance carrier. An audience member raised her hand with a mammoth problem. She had no solution in sight. Once I opened up the floor for a brainstorming session, she got a flood of input from other members of the audience. Within minutes of asking for help, she had superb solutions and next step actions to a problem that seemed impossible when she tried to tackle it alone.

Ask someone in your life for help- with the dishes, on a detail of a project.
Ask to help someone in your life- pick up groceries for an elderly neighbor, baby sit for a friend and see how terrific you feel.

People have confused two four letter words: Want and Need

The N Word
What sector is hiring the most new employees in the US right now? Technology? Manufacturing? Financial Services? Nope. National Public Radio recently reported that collection agencies have the highest growth in new hires. How could that be? Consumer debt is at an all time. Why? People have confused two four letter words:

Want and need.
If you are peering into the overstocked warehouse called your closet, a wee bit of reeducation on that distinction might be a good idea. "You mean I don't need a new pair of blue boots?" Sure, you want them. They just aren't in the need category. You need an umbrella, groceries, and to get your teeth cleaned. Begin spending your money more consciously on what you need and you will discover that you have more money for the things you really want (owning home, enjoying a vacation, starting your own business).

Loral Langemeier introduced me to the concept of Financial Freedom Day. That would be the day that you no longer need to work. Imagine that! If you give yourself the luxury of imagining your opulent prosperity and you may make different choices. Boy, that has more juice for me than saving for retirement. What day do you want to have financial independence and the cash flow to be living from as you choose? It might be something to consider the next time that a trip to the local department store temps you. Do you feel you should buy someone a gift?

"Do I need this?" is a great question to ask yourself. Write the question on a Post It and attach it to your wallet. Spending less money on your immediate gratification want can assist you in building up the cash to have more of what you really want.

Power in four letter words

Recently, there was an outbreak of Potty Mouth in our office. @*#^**#! Computer one- down. Ugh! Computer two- down. Double Ugh! Computer three-down. *#@**#!!!! I hate to admit it but, the air of our normally serene office was peppered with some pretty ripe phrases. Those expletives slapped me in the face as they hung in the air. If you are reading this, you are on the cutting edge. You know about the powerful impact language has on the results you create. Trust me there's nothing like hearing yourself talk like a sailor to bring that message home. It got me thinking.
Maybe, there is real power in four letter words.

Listen to your body

Keep Weekend Hours

Here's an an experiment, don't wear your watch for the weekend. Don't set your alarm. Allow your body to recharge and get freindly with the feel of listening to your body instead of your schedule. Let me know how you feel!

Always do what you love!

Get Your Love Time

Do what you love to do.

Even doing it for a few minutes a day will revitalize and recharge you. Dancing is one of my personal favorites. Take 15 mintues and shake what your mamma gave you. As you lose track of time being immersed in what you love doing innovative problem solving ideas can occure. Hobbies hold clues to life and career changes.

Backwards Is The New Forward

Stir your coffee backwards.

It will help you to be more conscious of what you are doing.


Drive to work a different way. Eat dessert first. Or if you don't want the calories, drink a cup of hot lemon water to lower your hunger. (This is a eating tip that both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie share.) When you interupt a mindless routine you have a greater ability to shift to a new focus. You can grab the wheel and steer toward the fabulous.

Kiva..Loans that changes lives

Your Mother Was Right

Thank you is a magic word.


Vickie, Ryan, Colin and I are saying thank you to you. We are making a donation to Kiva to assist small business owners in Asia in your name. Over the coming months we will update you on how your kindness is helping women start their businesses. This is an incredible organization to donate to.

Savor the season by slowing down!

How can you both savor the season while being...swamped?

Eefficiency experts have demonstrated that there is great momentum in slowing down. Crazy but true! You can increase your productivity by including rest in your day.

Even though it is counter intuitive, studies show that you save time by single-tasking. Consistent case studies with our coaching clients show that pleasurable activities serve a higher purpose. When you take time to do what is enjoyable you turbo charge your day.

Fabulous Day Tips from Eli Davidson

Here are some surefire tips to help you have a more fabulous and more productive day!

1. Has Perfection-itis Infected Your Day?
Many clients procrastinate on important projects. Why? They are deeply afraid that the completed project will not be good enough. (Studies show that women judge their own work product more harshly than their male colleagues.) Done is better than perfect. My tip with clients is “allow yourself to do a bad first draft.”

2. Show Me The Money!
It is so easy to get kidnapped by email. Do the tasks that make you money first. Give your cash flow your first two hours and your bank account will thank you. Through out the day, remember to give the most important cash flow activities top priority.

3. GPS The Goodie Project System.
Numerous studies show that it is important to reward yourself for completing tasks. My dear friend and Time Management Guru, David Allen, stresses this in all his work. I call it GPS The Goodie Project System Set a specific reward (goodie) for achieving a goal (project) and watch yourself get there faster. I told myself I got to buy my favorite perfume for being 100% on my low carb diet for a week. Not one molecule of bread touched my lips…and boy, do I smell good now!

4. 5 Minutes To Fab.
Studies show that women have a harder time hanging up the phone than men. In order to keep calls shorter, I set a 5 minute timer. I let the person know that I have 5 minutes for the call. When the timer goes off I politely let them know that I need to get off the call.

Listening Skills

Listening is an overlooked communication skill. However, it is one of the most effective skills to utilize in the process of innovation. It is essential to listen to other board members as they craft innovative plans.

1. Don't Let The Words Distract You
Numerous studies show that less than half of what is communicated is through spoken words. Some studies give words even less weight on the communication scale. Albert Mehrabian, Ph.D. conducted some of the most influential studies on the importance for the nonverbal components of communication. His landmark report rated 7% importance for words, 38% for tone and 55% for body language for their effectiveness. Whether you dispute or agree with his percentages, they illustrate that you miss a great deal of content if you listen to words alone.

HOW someone says something is far more important than WHAT they say. Listen for infections, signs and coughs. These are unconscious body signals that 'highlight' a statement. They tell you that what was just said was important. For example if someone says, "I love working on that project." and then coughs or sighs it is likely that there is a part of them that doesn't believe the statement. 


2. Oh, What A Difference A But Makes
Become a "but" watcher and you'll be dazzled at how much better your perception becomes. Pay attention to the word "but" in any sentence. It tells you, the listener, that everything said before the "but" might not be the truth. "I love my new position, but the hours drive me insane." The bigger truth in that sentence is that the speaker is drowning under their workload.

3. Don't Skip The End
Pay particular attention to what someone says at the end of a sentence. "I'd like to put together a presentation, except I don't know how." Often people make a preamble of what they think the listener would like you hear. Many save the most honest part of a statement for the end of a sentence.

4. The "Should, Can't, Have To" Crystal Ball.
Each one of these words conveys a negative belief or perceived assessment of a situation. Watch the statement that follows "Should", "Can't”, and "Have To." The listener is telling you that they really don't want to do what they are saying. Watch these words closely and folks around you will think you are plugged into the psychic hot line.

5. Ask Is Not A Four Letter Word
Just because you speak the same language...don't assume you understand another person. The message sent is often not the message received. Masterful listeners ask, ask, ask. Any sales executive knows that the person asking the questions is the person in control of the conversation. An easy way to become an expert listener is to verify that your perception of what was said was what the speaker meant.

Research on Gratitude

In the Research Project on Gratitude and Thanksgiving, two researchers put the theory of gratitude to another kind of exam. They asked several hundred people to keep daily journals. The first group jotted down all of the day’s occurrences, whether they were good or bad. The second group recorded only the day’s lousy experiences. The third group compiled a daily list of only those things for which they were grateful. Hmmmm .
Can you guess the result?

You knew it.

The grateful group had measurably higher levels of energy, alertness, and determination as well as lower levels of stress and depression. And there’s more. They were more likely to feel loved, and they were more likely to engage in acts of kindness towards others. People having more energy, feeling more loved, and being nicer to each other—yes indeed, the Earth would be a better place if everybody wore Gratitude Glasses. And it only takes a second to put them on.

What are you grateful for? How are you expressing your gratitude? I would love to know.

Eli Davidson Here in St. Louis

I'm Here in St. Louis having delivered a program for the St. Louis chapter of National Speakers Association. It is fascinating to see the knowledge and innovation here. Lethia Owens is a top brand specialist and social media expert. Tom Sears is on the cutting edge of e-learning.

Happiness and Gratitude

In an earlier post, Kari Henley brought the brilliant point of WIIFY (What’s In It For You) regarding service. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-henley/why-dont-we-volunteer-the_b_218155.html. Here are some reasons for you to consider looking at your life through the lens of thankfulness.

They Got Out the Magnifying Glass
Leave it to some savvy researchers to put gratitude under the microscope. New studies are confirming that all the stuff you thought would make you happy—the turbo-charged new car, the two-week jaunt to Bora Bora, the closet full of new shoes—doesn’t. An attitude of gratitude turns out to be a bigger predictor of who is feeling glad to be alive than a big ol’ whopping bank account. Yep, just wearing Gratitude Glasses made the difference.

Happiness cuts across economic lines. Contentment can’t tell the difference between a Camry and a Cadillac. Another study found that folks who were appreciative for what they had (whether they had a lot or a little) were as happy as the people who had the most. Wait. It gets even better. The people who were grateful for what they had, even if it wasn’t much, were twice as happy as those who actually had the most stuff. Ha! What better proof?

Get yourself a prescription for a pair of thankfulness lenses and watch your life transform.

Gratitude and Inner Vision

My friend, Scott Webb, is a person who is legally blind. He is one of the most effusively grateful people I know. Strange as it may seem Scott’s gratitude and inner vision helped him to tune in to his brilliant inner vision and create brilliant television programming.

Though he was blind, he was the creative director that helped a twelve person start up grow into the industry leader, Nickelodean. He taught me the power of gratitude when he said,

“If someone offered to give me back my sight, I would turn it down. I’ve gained
so much. I’m such a bigger person for having found the good in being blind. I
found a magnificence I couldn’t have seen with my eyes.”

What gift might be waiting for you if you put on the glasses of gratitude?