Research Gratitude?

A research project on Gratitude and Thanksgiving, put the theory of gratitude to another kind of exam. They asked several hundred people to keep daily journals. The first group jotted down all of the day's occurrences, whether they were good or bad. The second group recorded only the day's lousy experiences. The third group compiled a daily list of only those things for which they were grateful. Hmmmm . Can you guess the result?

You Knew It.
The grateful group had measurably higher levels of energy, alertness, and determination as well as lower levels of stress and depression. And there's more. They were more likely to feel loved, and they were more likely to engage in acts of kindness towards others. People having more energy, feeling more loved, and being nicer to each other--yes indeed, our nation would be a better place if everybody wore Gratitude Glasses. And it only takes a second to put them on.

What are you grateful for? How are you expressing your gratitude? I would love to know.

The Depth Of Gratitude

Leave it to some savvy researchers to put gratitude under the microscope. New studies are confirming that all the stuff you thought would make you happy--the turbo-charged new car, the two-week jaunt to Bora Bora, the closet full of new shoes--doesn't. An attitude of gratitude turns out to be a bigger predictor of who is feeling glad to be alive than a big ol' whopping bank account. Yep, just wearing Gratitude Glasses made the difference.

Don't believe me, here is a wonderful website dedicated entirely to....you guessed it, GRATITUDE! Gratitude Watch, Daniel Brenton!

Sigourney Weaver And Cast Of <i>Prayers For Bobby</i> Offer Hope To LGBT Youth

The film, Prayers for Bobby, proves that a movie can save a life.



So can a blog post can help others how to list



Your work is so vitally important to so many. LGBT issues are not issues of sexual orientation, they are issues of ignorance. Any person that is residing in their authentic nature makes no differentiation due to outer circumstancnes. In the sea of love that is our essence we are all Spiritual beings having a wide variety of human experiences.



Bless you for sharing this!
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Gratitude Glasses..Hmmm That's A Thought!

There was little for me to do, but paint my toe nails green. I signed the petition to help the people of Iran and then I dashed off to get a mani-pedi. Still thinking about Iran, I chose green for my pedicure and although it was a silly little gesture, my toes were now the color of mold! As I looked at my fashion faux pas and felt a warm glow fill my body which seemed to affect my eyesight, I found I was grateful...for all the small details in my life.

On this day everywhere I looked I saw something to appreciate.

It was after 8:00 PM and the summer sky was still a powdery blue. The last few purple Jacaranda blossoms clung to the trees and even the parking lot outside "Perfect Nails" had a luscious glow. It was as though I had a new pair of glasses.

There's an eyewear prescription we all need. Though these glasses aren't found in an optometrist's office. I'm talking about Gratitude Glasses.

Negative focus clouds your sight. Gratitude lets you perceive past what's obvious and find the good. It makes situations pop into a new clarity.

I'm happy to say Kari Henley brought the brilliant point of WIIFY (What's In It For You) regarding service. There are some reasons for you to consider looking at your life through the lens of thankfulness.

What gift might be waiting for you if you put on the glasses of gratitude?

Can Women Change The Course Of History In Iran?

The paradigm has shifted and we are watching women lead the way! "Iranian women have been at the forefront of agitating for political change for over 100 years. They participated in the Constitutional Revolution of 1906, carrying guns under their veils to help the revolution and were key supporters of the Islamic Revolution in 1979." That was utterly fascinating!



Tweets I am seeing say that women are outnumbering men at the rallies.



When a man is attacked by the military, a group of women jump in front of the attacker and say, "Don't beat him. Beat me!" Thank you again for a masterful post!
About Twitter
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

How To Survive Crazy Office Politics (Part 3)

Here is a continuation of a story from a session with one of my clients.

Earlier, you see that she was passed over for a job promotion. A 'navy buddy' with no experience got the job. He was a drunk and was terminated. She applied again. Nope. The job went to a womanizer. Now it is round three.

"But no, the phone call came and yet another man was selected to replace her.

So the new Director arrived, and so did his baggage...a couple of google searches showed that he was currently unemployed after damaging articles about his job performance in his old hometown.

She continued to smile, work hard and tried not to show how much this betrayal had hurt her...feeling that she was given the work, but never the job or the perks that went with it. (As an executive coach I see woman often "Grin and Bear It" rather than speak up.)

"They hired three incompetent men, and not me - obviously, they just don't want me!" To add insult to injury, the current City newspaper started printing articles about this man's dubious past, along with his current salary of $145K.

Seeing that he was paid significantly more than she had been paid for the same job put her anger over the top. She went home, slammed the front page paper on the kitchen table, and started telling her oldest son of her frustration.

He calmly looked at her and spoke "But mom...you have forgotten the most important factor. You are just a girl, and remember, girls have to work harder and still get paid less than men".

Knowing that he was kidding, she laughed and said "You are right...I forgot about the chromosome factor". At this point, the woman knew that it was time to move on.

Tomorrow we will dissect this tale to get coaching tips that you can use in your career.


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How To Survive Crazy Office Politics (Part 2)

As a coach for women executives, I often see the scenario of women undervaluing themselves and their contribution.
This story from a client illustrates

"The woman was asked to temporarily run the department while interviews were held to fill the position. (Note they gave the job to someone else. That person failed. Then they asked her to run the department. Does this sound familiar?)

She agreed, and asked that she be considered for the job as well.

When the interviews were held, another man was selected...once again, a military man, with no direct experience in this particular field.

A nice guy, but not knowing the ropes, he relied on the woman manager to run the department, handle employee concerns, and take care of the daily operations, while he went to daily meetings with the "top brass" He ended up getting fired after nine months, along with his boss who hired him.

Again, the woman was asked to take over the department and run it until the next Director was hired.

She agreed, but insisted that she get paid the Director's salary during this assignment....which was begrudgingly agreed to - a sum of $120K. Then major disasters hit the City, and she was the lead in many citywide operations, handling the daily emergencies and rising to the needs of the City, working almost six weeks straight without a day off. (In my coaching practice I see many women become the underpaid 'caretaker' in their organization. Sound familiar?)

Accolades were received by many other department Directors, so she knew that her work was appreciated by her customers. When the interview day arrived and went, she was confident that all her hard work over the past two years, and particularly during the emergency, would be recognized. (Note: SHE DID A GREAT JOB!)

Surely, she had gone over and beyond...more than any of the previous men directors had done.

The Saga continues tomorrow!

How To Overcome CRAZY Office Politics (Part 1)

Here is a story from a coaching client.

As an executive coach, I hear a lot of interesting stories....If you are passed over for a promotion...you may enjoy this.

"Thanks so much for your coaching session this afternoon. After years of playing sports...I forgot how important that coaching is...for the mind and spirit! I really appreciated your insight and time.

Below is a brief "story" for your blog:

Working almost 20 years for a municipality, this woman manager oversaw a very crucial department for the City, handling day to day operational needs for the organization. When the organization went under a restructuring effort, there was a director position created above this woman.

However the day it was created, it was filled - by a man who was friends with the top manager of the City...an old Navy buddy. (Sound familiar? This is why I am always banging the drum to get you to network to find your next position.)

The new Director came in, and without finding out anything about the existing organization - its culture, its rules, its policies - he decided that it should operate like where he had come from - the US Navy.

He literally turned the department upside down, eliminating a third of the team, yet none of the services. This woman kept the operations running during the turmoil...keeping employee morale going, and customers needs met. (Note the different management styles. Often women become the 'Caretaker' of the office. They clean up the messes made by management- and don't speak up to get compensated.)

After 6 months, this man "pissed off" enough people that he was quietly dismissed."

Stay tuned...more of this story tomorrow!

Altruism Gene

Growing up on the land, I got to experience how deeply interconnected we are. Being of service to one another is actually at the core of every human being. Now, science is confirming that we as a species are genetically engineered to be altruistic. Scientist have dug up what they term the "Altruism Gene." The findings report that Volvox carterii, gene may have evolved to suppress certain biological activities in lean times. The report from www.worldscience.net reports: "Several competing theories attempt to solve the puzzle. One is that groups with cooperative members out compete groups with selfish one, and thus spread their niceness."

Kansas, Iran: Help Harvest A Better World

John Jeavons www.bountifulgardens.org can help us live a more sustainable and healthy life.



I know the satisfaction of eating food we have grown.



"It's great food, great exercise, great educational opportunities for the children, and a great way to bring together the community. There is no down-side to living closer to the Earth and working with rather than against the natural seasons."



Bless you!
About The Giving Life
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Balanced Life- Meditate

I meditate as it is a way of being still and seeing things in an objective way

our mind is like a monkey jumping from thought to thought --drama to drama..with a balanced mind there is spaciousness and a chance to see with fresh eyes and to be able to chill- that is why we have just written our new book. It is our offering to a crazy world....(I won't go there now)

Staying in the heart/loving and being with caring friends all are part of being a balanced person. And tahat includes YOU *****

Lovingly,

Ed Shapiro

Thank you, Thank you for your thoughts. As a Life Coach I believe meditation can do wonders and certainly help achieve the balanced life!

If you know how to drive a car, you have the skills to turn
around your day. And hey, once you have turned around your
day, you are on the way to turning around your life and steering
yourself toward more success and becoming Funky To Fabulous!

Life Balance

The Bacon Balance Test

Even as an executive life coach I did not pass the 'balance test'! It's hard!

Regardless of your opinion of bacon can you stay centered? Here's a quick test to take.

-Do you need to be right and make someone else wrong?

-Do you need to be in control?

-Can you use the situation for upliftment, learning or growth?

-Can you respect the person even if you disagree with them?

-Can you put yourself in someone else's shoes?

To achieve life balance is not always easy and it is not easy to stay centered. Ed and Deb Shapiro wrote a nice article on dealing with difficult situations, I like to know how do you maintain your balance? I'd love to know your thoughts.

Eli~

Life Lesson - Comments

I'm a first time reader of your post, so naturally I had to go back and read your post on Jamie. She sounds like an amazing young woman. I'm sorry the world has lost her.

As for your bacon test: I'm OK on most of them, but used to have trouble wanting to be in control. But, when my youngest daughter was 15, she had a brain tumor that knocked us all for a loop. For many months, she was practically totally dependent on me. Two years, three brain surgeries, a stroke, rehab, and a whole lot of seizures later, she was preparing to go to college. I tried to get her to stay at home and go to a community college for awhile--let Mom take care of her a little longer. But, I was butting heads with someone even more stubborn than I. She said, "This isn't the life I had planned, but if this is the life I get, I am going to do it as well as I can. So off she went. She even studied in Europe for a semester. And though she still had occasional seizures, and often had (has) pain, she took control of her life and I had to let go. It was very traumatic for me. I think it was almost as hard to let go as it was to watch her suffer for those two horrible years.
She became a social worker, a foster mother, a wife, and now she and her husband are adopting a gorgeous, baby girl. And I am managing to NOT channel my mother and try to tell her how to raise her--unless I am asked. Then, of course, I am quite happy to put in my two cents.

Thank You!
I am so deeply, deeply moved by your story. The way you and your daughter have stood up embraced your life is such a story of hope and inspiration. Your heartfelt sharing is something that is so important for other reader.

"This isn't the life I had planned, but if this is the life I get, I am going to do it as well as I can."

Those are words of wisdom for us all.

Thank you! I hope that you will share your insights more often and visit me here and at the Huffington Post.
Best,
Eli Davidson

To Comment or Not to Comment?

Last week I posted an article at the Huffington Post honoring the memory of the amazing Jamie Dyer Dordek and it had many unexpected consequences. On the vibrant bright side, it was a comfort to her mother, brother, family members and friends.

Another added benefit was that I got to discover that I was wrong. Wrong about Twitter. I got to meet many of Jamie's on line Twitter family. Another plus was that I got to experience the community of support which is so profound.

On what I would describe as the venomous dark side, two commenters posted heartless comments.

Jamie loved full out. You can feel the love as you read the comments about her. As crazy as it seems to me, one of her loves (the love of all things bacon) brought out a string of angry responses. These comments punctured the tribute to this wonderful woman who died two weeks ago.

My heart pounded as I read comments that were a slap in the face to a woman who would never be able to defend herself. I had just spent the weekend at The University of Santa Monica Spiritual Psychology program. It's focus is Soul centered learning which in my case is all about learning to love more, judge less and getting cutting edge tools to create more of what I want. I'd spent 25 hours learning to be more loving. Within 3 minutes all my spiritual psychology was a limpid puddle on the floor.

It would be nice if we could all think first and be a little more loving!

What are your thoughts??

Jamie Dyer Dordek Life Lessons

I didn't meet Jamie until after she died.

Think life is certain? Guess again.

Jaime was a blaze of florescent colors until she stepped off a curb and sprained her ankle. The blood clot from that minor accident traveled to her brain and killed her.

Jamie Dyer Dordek was 32

I got to know Jaime through her family, friends and her wonderful blog before I spoke at her memorial service. Even though Jamie only got 32 years to cram her life into, she lived her life full out. There wasn't a person in that room whose life hadn't become more vibrant because of The J Woman. I couldn't help falling in love with her myself.

Jamie reached out. On line. Standing in line. Traveling. At home. With Andy. At work. Her smile and laughter couldn't be contained by physical space. She made the planet Earth a better place for being here.

Jamie lived full tilt. She made a difference. Her family and friends say that the world isn't as colorful without her.

Now, it's our turn. Now, we are her hands. We are her smile. From this day forward how can you make a person next to you smile or laugh? Or give away that last pair of pleated pants?

Jamie this is for you, we will never forget!

How Do I Market Myself With Outer Marketing?

Today I would like to share with you the steps to take in Outer Marketing.

First...Your Professional Promotion - Burn Your Resume!
"Don't rewrite that resume! I hate "the" resume. One size does not fit all, not in a bathing suit and not in a resume. Long before an employer meets you (if you can get that far) they will see your career profile. Burn your resume. My friend Nicole Spicer instructs those looking for a job to write a "Professional Promotional Profile." Take it seriously, take in your entire professional career and invest some time in writing it.

The Professional Promotional Profile is your work bible.
Create a timeline of your entire professional history. Go back to your very first job. Write down everything you have done since then.

Organize Your Professional Promotional Profile into action statements with the results whenever appropriate.

When you see or hear about a position you would like to apply for, you will pull (cut and paste) all your relevant experience off your PPP into specific document(s) for that position.

I will discuss the PPP in a later post! For more information about marketing yourself in your job search visit me on the Huffington Post.

How To Market Myself With Inner Marketing

Your probably wondering how exactly do I market my inner self?? I feel it is very important so I will giv eyou the step by step!

First you will start with... Your Personal Empowerment

You Are Mayor....What is it like inside your skin? Regardless of outer circumstances you have the power and responsibility to be good to yourself. It may sound cheesy, but you are the only person that can empower you. Most decisions to hire a candidate are made in the first 10 seconds. The only way to really show up is to be empowered.

Be Sure To Listen To Your Self, are you so busy tweeting and texting that you have lost track of who you really are? Take at least 15 minute each day to honor the authentic wisdom of your body, mind and Spirit. I know of many a client who has gotten a job by following a "hunch."

Don't Be The Lone Ranger, get and give support as part of a team. Mammals are pack animals. During a job search, time of stress (or any time for that matter) you need to be part of a group. Women in particular thrive when they 'Tend and Befriend' as the landmark UCLA study found.

Be Accountable, tell someone your goals. Check in with them daily if possible. It is very easy to watch the last episodes of Oprah instead of making sales calls.

Try out inner marketing and see what you get for results!

How Do I Market Myself?

In todays market you will have to know how to market yourself from the inside out. "As a recruiter, the first thing I notice in a "star" candidate is his/her confidence. It shows up early on paper and later in person. When talking to Nicole Spicer this past weekend she agreed that “A trained eye can spot them with the first email, phone call and as they walk through the door." She is a Fortune 500 recruitment expert!

So first you have to ask yourself: am I aware of my power and will it show up for me throughout the job search and interview process?

This is not about your ego or telling someone how good you are, it is about knowing your personal power and being confident in your abilities. It is authentic; you cannot fake it (or at least not sustain it for long if you do.) If you hesitate on this concept you probably are not there - yet. I cover this topic in depth in my book Funky To Fabulous if you feel this is something you would like to brush up on.

Expert Advice On Interview Skills

As an executive coach here in Santa Monica California I find myself talking to a lot of people day in and day out. This weekend I was talking with recruitment expert Nicole Spicer and she has superb advice to help you amp up your interview skills and I wanted to share this advice!

"Make sure you ask for all the basics: copy of the job description, interview location, parking details, several internal phone numbers in case there is a last minute problem and if there is an online application you can fill out ahead of time," says Spicer.

She also suggests that you find out who you who you will be interviewing with and what his or her title is. If you are being interviewed by multiple people, it's often helpful to know in what order these interviews will occur. Ask who they are in the process, i.e. decision maker or influencer. (This is key.) I love this advice and highly suggest it as well! You can find more advice on Interview skills at my blog at the Huffington Post.